Upon starting the Digital Leading and Learning graduate program at Lamar University I was ready to push myself to be the best student and succeed. I was fully under the impression that this program would be just like any other graduate program so I would need to read all of the books ahead of time and began to form my essays before the first assignments. I finished the entire book before I was fully registered and when the blackboard opened I began to draft each discussion assignment to have done ahead of time so that I could just hit submit. After the first class I realized that this class was going to be very different. Once I was not just told about but completely immersed in the COVA (Choice, Voice, Ownership and Authenticity) model I was terrified. I have never experienced education like this for myself even though I have seen the value and try to provide parts of it to my students year after year.
I was not terrified that I didn’t know how to use COVA I was terrified of not being told what to do and how to do it. I freaked out because I didn’t know my boundaries or what the structure was. I was allowed to have a different way to convey the same message as someone else. I love being unique so I was excited to try something new and learn out of the box methods or platforms to share with the class. On the other hand my anxiety was through the roof because I just knew that I couldn’t just turn in assignments that are “wrong”.
I truly belief that my constant work to stay in the growth mindset is what has made me able to fail forward. Mistakes are not the end of the world but are instead a chance to learn and improve which helps me to get closer to success. As I continue this program I know that it will take work to make sure that I am staying in the grow mindset but it will all be worth it in the end. I see that my “yet” may not be easy but I am ready and willing to trade it in for my “can’t”. Through this course I will not only be able to make changes within myself but within my classroom and on to my organization as a positive yet authentic leader.
teaching chose me 
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